Saturday, January 9, 2010

Mike Kirk

SO! I'm at Mike Kirk's lovely house and he's drunk so I'm going to interview him.

Me: If you could have 3 wishes, what would they be?

Mike: Unlimited money, unlimited wishes, be a professional ping pong player.

Me: How long did your longest poopie take?

Mike: 40 minutes.

Me: Top or bottom?

Mike: Top.

Me: If you had to date one race other then white, what race what it be?

Mike: Latin.

Me: Shaved or unshaved?

Mike: Shaved.

Me: Buck teeth or no teeth?

Mike: No teeth.

Me: What are your views on gay marriage?

Mike: I'm not a homophobic like my room mate.

Me: What are your views on lesbian marriage then?

Mike: They're butch.

Me: How do you feel about stem cell research?

Mike: I don't know.

Me: What are your views on abortion?

Mike: All for it.

Me: Can you do a hand stand?

Mike: No.

Me: Do you consider yourself physically fit?

Mike: No, but I have a good BMI.

Me: What's your favorite physical feature about yourself?

Mike: My nappy grom hair.

Me: How do you feel about snickers?

Mike: Love em.

Me: Mr. Big's?

Mike: Hate em.

Me: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee?

Mike: Bruce Lee.

Me: Bruce Lee and Mr. T?

Mike: Bruce lee.

Me: Would you date "Genie-in-a-Bottle" Christina Aiguilera or "Dirty" Christina Aiguilera?

Mike: Dirty Christina Aiguilera.

Me: Ok have fun with herpes... How much money would it take for you to kiss a boy?

Mike: A million.

Me: On a gay pride parade, would you be...

-Protestor?
-Pregnant lesbian?
-Child of a gay couple?

Mike: Protestor.

Me: Last question, the purple teletubie, the pope, peter pan. Fuck one, marry one, kill one.

Mike: Kill the teletubie, fuck peter pan cause then my kids can fly and marry the pope.

Thank you for your time Mike, this has been an eye opener.


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